Into Darkness (or the abbreviation I kept reading as either STD or STI)

So this is both looooooong overdue. But as I've promised myself, it's better late than never (yes, that excuse that have been overused before my time.)

Note: I'm in no shape or form a trekkie, my knowledge extends as far as TOS gif sets and the reboot, and that's pretty much it. So, first and foremost, I would just like to join Bones and Spock in screaming: NO JIM NOOOOOO. And because I can't be more coherent than point forms, here are some point forms:

• MY HEART. IT'S BURSTING OUT OF MAH CHEST. (So, no, this is probably not an all that informative/helpful review.)
• I guess we can start with the plot: In the off moments that things aren't exploding, there were just feeeeeels. And in the moments that plot (uhhh, by plot I kind of just mean the same our-villain-just-conveniently-got-himself-captured-into-a-glass-pod-oh-my-the-convenience-is-too-suspicious) was happening, it was kind of hard to focus when everyone is looking at everyone else with such sparkles in their eyes. (Not that I'm complaining.)
• Like always, perfect cast is perfect. Chekov, you're forever my Russian space baby (and because I love you best, your character poster gets to be right at the top!). Scotty, you're a life-saver on so many levels. Sulu, as stand-by captain, you're all kinds of bamf and perf. Let's just say, Uhura kicking ass and speaking Klingon has my heart in a vice. (And like it's any surprise, of course, Captain Pike's death made me wail like a baby.)
• Also, our movie party of five pretty much spent the entire 2 hours making hand gestures at the big screen for Kirk and Spock to just kisssssss already (pretty please?) And don't even get me started on the glass and the hands and Spock pretending he can't feel a thing all the way to the moment of Kirk's death. Once again, MY HEART. 
• Of course: LENS FUCKING FLARE. (JJ Abrams, are you okay?)
• I still remain that Kirk/Spock should be Kock. 
• AND NOW I THINK YOU SHOULD GO AND READ THIS STAR TREK!AU WHITE COLLAR FIC: Break Down In the Shapes of Things to Come by shanie. (Spoilers: It's made of awesome-sauce.) :D
• Also, this honest trailer of Star Trek is just as great.