if you've got to say that you don't mean to be rude, i can 100% guarantee that you are. stop. stop what you are doing and backspace the fuck out of there. no one needs that.
on a brighter note, getting a routine back even for a short while is so good. exhausting still. but it's a good stressor. now to slowly extract myself from my current job because i need newer pastures and being there since my second year of uni is much too long.
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